Jokes & Humor

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him,

Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Two men were in a pub.

One man said, “Did you know that beer contains female hormones?”

The other man said, “No! Is it true?”

“Yes,” said the first man. “If you drink too much, you start talking crap and you drive terribly.”

TRUE STORY! Source: The Associated Press

BAKER LAKE, Wash. — Rain-eeeeer …. Bear?

When state Fish and Wildlife agents recently found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, there were some clues scattered nearby — dozens of empty cans of Rainier Beer.

The bear apparently got into campers’ coolers and used his claws and teeth to puncture the cans. And not just any cans.

“He drank the Rainier and wouldn’t drink the Busch beer,” said Lisa Broxson, bookkeeper at the campground and cabins resort east of Mount Baker.

Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest.

“He didn’t like that (Busch) and consumed, as near as we can tell, about 36 cans of Rainier.”

A wildlife agent tried to chase the bear from the campground but the animal just climbed a tree to sleep it off for another four hours. Agents finally herded the bear away, but it returned the next morning.

Agents then used a large, humane trap to capture it for relocation, baiting the trap with the usual: doughnuts, honey and, in this case, two open cans of Rainier. That did the trick.

“This is a new one on me,” Heinck said. “I’ve known them to get into cans, but nothing like this. And it definitely had a preference.”

35 Responses to “Jokes & Humor”

  1. Pauletta Abruzzo says:

    Hi, i must tell you that it’s hard to find your articles in google, i found this one on 12 spot, you should build some quality backlinks to increase your website ranking in google and drive a lot more visitors to your articles, it means more audience and more sales for you. For more details search in google for – Raitt SEO advices

  2. ralph lauren short sleeve shirts says:

    The products were delivered quickly and the quality is better than we can imagine seeing the photos. Enjoyed!Otima a bolsa, so compro com esse vendedor, ja comprei varias. Recomendo.eto ne zamsha?no kachestvo xopochee/bistraj dostavka
    [url=]ralph lauren short sleeve shirts[/url]

  3. Rueben says:

    I see a lot of interesting content on your blog.

    You have to spend a lot of time writing, i know how to save you a lot of time, there is a tool that creates
    unique, google friendly articles in couple of seconds, just type
    in google – laranita’s free content source

  4. Jonhjin says:

    great class, just a little bugin -(void) tick: (ccTime) dtuse this:[rednerTexture clear:rednerColor.r / 255.0f g:rednerColor.g / 255.0f b:rednerColor.b / 255.0f a:rednerColor.a / 255.0f];you can then use: CCSpotLight *spotLight = [CCSpotLight initWithRenderTexture:rednerLayer spotLightRadius:100 rednerColor:ccc4(0 , 0, 0, 180)];thanks

  5. Brooks says:

    I read a lot of interesting posts here. Probably you spend a lot
    of time writing, i know how to save you a lot of
    work, there is an online tool that creates unique, SEO friendly posts in minutes, just
    type in google – k2seotips unlimited content

  6. bakery story cheats facebook says:

    At any time, so stay tuned! The game play of Gangstar Rio: City of
    Saints. The animation look good and smooth;
    you are the healthy activity that keeps mind active and had bakery
    story cheats relationships with the growing trends of the promotional $6.
    There is also a very realistic manner. By performing this work increase
    in the marketplace such as volume, thus the users. The bar has been attracting mobile bakery story cheats users.

  7. Luis says:

    This one is just funny, I’ve seen much worse in foreclosures.Like the one with the green pool. When we drianed the pool, there was a car in it (50’s Olds, IIRC).There are many people (some of whom are well-educated and seem otherwise normal) who have odd collections in their house. There are companies who specialize in cleaning them up, and they have a few hair-raising stories (which I won’t repeat, but they were recently making the rounds on the local LA news, involving rats, bodily fluids and such). Personally, I recall (in the early 80’s) often seeing a very elderly lady in a laundromat, I was always kind of worried she would croak. Eventually I read about her in the paper. She owned a house that was full floor-to-ceiling with newspapers and magazines, would sleep on a mattress in the driveway, except when it was cold and she would go to the laundromat. The mental health authorities evaluated her, and determined she was, indeed, not insane and did not need a conservator to take over.

  8. ハンガーラック たてよこ伸縮 シングル キャスター付き YBH-SS(IV) アイボリー コ says:


  9. says:

    Advertising: To position your advertising and marketing messages, product messages
    or advertisement in the emails despatched by other folks.

    Feel free to surf to my weblog; MagicSubmitter Review,
    Buy Magic Submitter, Magic Submitter Software (

  10. buy madden mobile coins says:

    Appreciate it for sharing your superb webpage

  11. Lakiesha Lucia says:

    I really like your writing style, superb information, regards for putting up :D . “In every affair consider what precedes and what follows, and then undertake it.” by Epictetus.

  12. truereview wordpress theme says:

  13. Julio Saur says:

    YOu rock for sharing. My pappy used to say “Life is short. Live passionately” :)

  14. Cordie Axman says:

    Thanks for sharing. As my grandma used to say “Live each day as if it’s your last”.

  15. Bernard Ohyama says:

    I am writing to let you know what a magnificent experience my wife’s child developed going through yuor web blog. She mastered several pieces, which included what it’s like to possess a marvelous coaching nature to have other individuals without hassle completely grasp various very confusing issues. You undoubtedly exceeded our own expectations. Thank you for supplying such warm and helpful, healthy, educational as well as easy tips on this topic to Evelyn.

  16. Vernetta Granderson says:

    Get the f*ck out of here. No way this actually works. Sheesh.LikeLike

  17. Shawnda Pharis says:

    Great post! The links to the engineering teams explanation of the code do not work however. Would love to see that!LikeLike

  18. Jefferson Simmerman says:

    Great post! Jeff – If I may ask, who is your distribution partner?LikeLike

  19. Erlene Zwiebel says:

    Every campaign deserves a well-thought out approach that covers all the holes and ensures everything runs smoothly. Great insight regarding scalability and growth of consumer products. I imagine there is a different technique to engage other industries such as B2BLikeLike

  20. Karry Crowther says:

    Hi all, here every one is sharing these familiarity, thus it’s fastidious to read this webpage, and I used to pay a visit this blog daily.|

  21. Alonzo Cupples says:

    Kudos for the transparency, great to read the reasoning behind your decisions, even down to the details in the copywriting. Just lost about 15 minutes browsing your site, ‘Five O’ Clock’ magazine, and social media profiles.. the branding is fantastic, there’s a consistent polish to everything.Now just wish I was American so I could apply for your designer vacancy in NY!LikeLike

  22. Mireya Cirilo says:

    Good day very cool web site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your web site and take the feeds also¡KI am happy to search out numerous helpful info right here within the publish, we’d like work out more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  23. Sylvester Kosinski says:

    Could you please share the WP plugin you reference?Thanks!LikeLike

  24. says:

    Amazing site check out my articles about what’s trending in serps.

  25. Walton Riling says:

    Hiya, I’m really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossips and web and this is actually annoying. A good website with interesting content, that’s what I need. Thank you for keeping this web-site, I will be visiting it. Do you do newsletters? Can’t find it.

  26. Ardell Lundquist says:

    Great results with 100k emails in 7 days but it’s not the quantity but quality of emails that really matters. 10k quality emails could convert to more sales than 100k emails of mostly people who aren’t interested in the product. 1) Were these quality emails or people that mostly just wanted free stuff?2) How much did the campaign earn? “For example, some of our friends could reach entire companies. We’d ask people individually share Harry’s with their teams.” Most people don’t have access to CEOs. So I’m curious 3) How many companies were reached?4) How Big were they?.” These were largely people who were close to us with large followings or access to companies that sent out blasts on our behalf.5) How large were the followings? 50k 100k or more?6) How large were the company blasts?Tim, please tell us the answers.I would like to think the average person could get similar results by following this strategy but until we have the answers to these questions we won’t know if the average person would be lucky to get 100 emails or less in a week following this same plan..Until we have these answers (although it looks like a detailed plan of action to get approximately 100k emails in a week) it’s really just another general article that offers us potentially false hope.The title to this article makes it sound like you just plug in to the strategy and WALLA you have the magic recipe onHow to Gather 100,000 Emails in One Week (Includes Successful Templates, Code, Everything You Need)I really hope it is a real recipe for the average person with less resources and connections to get similar results. Please show us.LikeLike

  27. جزر المالديف بوكينج says:

    Buy groceries in Khan El Khalil, Cairo famous bazaar, earlier than returning to Sharm El Sheikh.

  28. حجز فنادق في المدينة المنورة says:

    Discover the wonders of Egypt from the breathtaking sights of the Pyramids to the unspoiled beaches of Hurghada.

  29. Mortgages Now says:

    This kind of material is great – it’s what keeps the internet fluid and interesting

  30. افضل الاماكن في لندن says:

    The Giza Pyramids are the world’s final remaining one of the
    Seven Wonders of the Historic World.” The best Cairo tour packages all
    include a trip to the royal Giza necropolis the place these pyramids
    are positioned.

  31. vshare ios says:

    You’re absolutely correct, I would really enjoy to discover a lot more on this issue! I’m also interested by vshare because I believe it’s quite unique at the moment. Keep up the good work!

  32. lic online says:

    There are certainly awesome developments on the design of the blog, I definitely enjoy it. Mine is relating to lic online payment and generally there are plenty of things to be done, I’m yet still a newcomer in web development. Be careful!

  33. aptoide apk says:

    You are entirely right. I really enjoyed looking through this and I will get back for more right away. Our site is about aptoide for pc, you could take a peek if you are still interested in that.

  34. Sativa says:

    My reality has been changed forever because of your website, thank you. Who raised you? They deserve a medal for a job well done. It is very informative and you are obviously very knowledgeable in this area. Thanks again.

  35. small party venues dallas tx says:

    I’m very pleased to find this great site. I want to to thank you for ones time due to this wonderful read!! I definitely liked every bit of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to look at new stuff on your web site.

Leave a Reply